I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My balls are so social today.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
