You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize