sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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