The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.