If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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