Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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