i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
