in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
did you just send me my own nude
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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