I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
