I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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