In America we eat man semen.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize