I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
