I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
