I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize