Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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