love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
