forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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