Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize