At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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