It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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