Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
