I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
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There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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