oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
