People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
