I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize