A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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