she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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