Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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