y did u give ur computer a hand job?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...