Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...