My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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