He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
