the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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