U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
honey bunches of taint.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
