dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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