Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
