I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
