So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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