Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
