so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My life is pants optional.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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