I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize