I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
