Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
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Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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