was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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