Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
