She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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