How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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