I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also, beer. Big fan.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
