Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize