Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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