I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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