dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
