I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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