in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
