This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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