pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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