Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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