This is not my ceiling
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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