Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
