no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
