Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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