Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
