I have demons in me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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